Admin’s note: Welcome our newest contributor, Chloe! Here she writes her first post for Mister Beebop: a ranking of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Enjoy!
14. The Incredible Hulk (2008)
Okay, I watched this movie once. I was 11 and I honestly don’t remember anything at all. I didn’t even include this in my Marvel movie marathon with my aunt because, sad to say, it’s totally skippable. No offense to the actors and people who made this. It doesn’t necessarily suck, you just don’t need to see it unlike other movies in the MCU that are woven together to make one big mind-blowing/boggling story. And Mark Ruffalo owned his interpretation of the big green monster so much that, even if it came years after, Ed Norton’s version kinda paled in comparison (who would’ve thought he’d be replaced as a major rage head?)
Like I said, I don’t remember it. So maybe some scene where he smashes something into someone and everything blows up. Sounds pretty accurate.
13. Thor: The Dark World (2013)
I so wanted this movie to work. It had Christopher Eccleston (my first Doctor), Chris Hemsworth (who is the only person pretty enough to wield Mjolnir in the entire universe), Tom Hiddleston (who I had a huge crush on until a certain Snake ruined everything), and Natalie Portman (who raps like a total bad ass, Natalie Raps). But for a movie with “Thor” in the title, Loki is pretty much the star. Hiddles owned this movie with all his inner emo coming out. Though it is a pretty good sequel to the first one (it’s exciting and has high stakes and the cosmos is in danger), but where the heck is Thor?
Loki in the fish tank prison all broken and disheveled just after Frigga’s death. It’s sad to see The God of Mischief beaten and tired. He even attempted to fool Thor into believing everything was under his control but nope, he looked like a washed up rock star who’s just dead inside.
12. Iron Man 2 (2010)
The suckiest of all Iron Man movies but still so watchable, even for RDJ and his guylinered eyes alone. It has more things going boom and more snarky comebacks. We get introduced to Don Cheadle as The War Machine and Scarlett Johansson as skin-tight-leather-wearing Black Widow. These two things are enough to make you squeal in joy. But S.H.I.E.L.D. finally coming into the scene and setting up collaborations that we will all love for years to come just stole the show. But because of all the introducing going on, you start to lose focus. America wants to take his suit and there’s this Russian guy who wants to kill him because his daddy said so and Tony is in self-destruct mode. I know movies have multiple plots all the time, but they’re usually better synced than this.
When Tony Stark suits up in a race track in Monaco right before he starts battling it out with Whiplash (played by Mickey Rourke) for the first time. His suit sort of just folds out of a suitcase and latches onto him. And the whole time he just has this blank look on his face like it’s no big deal. Epic.
11. Thor (2011)
This movie made it look so simple – that Thor, almighty Norse God, could exist in the same world as Iron Man, technology and science dude. It’s not until after watching do you realize that magic is real, that gods in different universes do exist, and that they could easily be a part of our lives. That’s impossible! But “Thor” made it possible. The relationship between the two brothers were so Scar and Mufasa-like, that their god powers just made everything better/sexier. Though the Jane Foster love story was okay, I could have done without it. Even the humor was so-so. But the Shakespearean family relationship made everything fresh, despite it basically just being a redemption story. And Anthony Hopkins just doing his thing as Odin is enough to keep you watching.
Honestly, for me, I got such a kick out of watching Thor smash his glass onto the floor just to announce that he wanted more coffee.
10. Guardians Of The Galaxy (2014)
I know a lot of people will wonder why this is ranked so low on the list and why I’m not raving about it, so please, don’t bite my head off. It’s just that it didn’t really do anything for me. Sure Chris Pratt’s cute, Groot’s funny with his little raccoon buddy, and I just love Dave Bautista from the times I used to watch WWE as a kid, but I’m pretty much “meh” about it. I don’t hate it. And plot wise it’s good. But it’s not for me.
9. Captain America: The First Avenger (2011)
How could you not root for the badly CGI-ed scrawny kid at the start? He was brave despite his size and he just wanted to fight for his country, dammit. The love story between Steve Rogers and Peggy Carter is the best of all MCU movies. They respected each other, the relationship wasn’t forced, and the chemistry between Chris Evans and Hayley Atwell was great. Chris playing Cap was a match made in heaven. I can’t think of anyone else better. He made the character heroic in every meaning of the word. And the fact that Agent Carter wasn’t some sexed-up hero motivator made me really happy. She was a hero all her own. Set in the 1940’s so not much explosions but it doesn’t really need it. For me, one of the best origin stories in all hero movies.
When Steve uses his body as a shield to protect everyone against the dummy grenade released by Tommy Lee Jones to see who would be the bravest in the bunch. He wasn’t even super soldiered yet, still he didn’t hesitate to sacrifice himself.
8. Iron Man 3 (2013)
You’ll see Tony in the flesh more here than in any other Iron Man film, but you don’t mind. It’s funny, with great characters, and has a really evil bad guy. Aldrich Killian is one of my favorite villains in the cinematic universe mostly because he’s believable. Pure evil and diabolical and mad scientist-like. Willing to do anything to get want he wants. A hero movie with barely any cliches and it even includes Christmas. Tony suffering from PTSD after the whole alien wormhole incident really makes you appreciate how good of an actor Robert Downey Jr. is. It still has his signature wisecracks and his interactions with a kid makes you feel invested.
Stark’s panic attacks were great moments for me. It sort of showed you his more human side. We know him as a “genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist” but he can still be weak. No matter how brilliant his mind is it’s also his worst enemy, which is an issue a lot of people can relate to. It showed that events forgotten by some can have consequences on one’s mental well-being, that no matter how good people think you have it, you could be breaking on the inside.
7. Iron Man (2008)
You have to appreciate this movie because without it, there would be no Marvel Cinematic Universe. What would we do during days where we’re so bored out of our minds but too lazy to go out? What do we do when we’re feeling down and just need a pick-me-up? What movies do we watch that never fail us? What movies do we marathon? Marvel Movies. I’m sure it’s not just me. This movie did a pretty good job starting it all. It set the bar high with its great plotline and exciting scenes of Tony trying to escape his captives with his first suit. And who else other than RDJ could make you love a character that’s egotistical, rude, and an all-around asshole? He made you fall in love with him all over again. This movie will always have a special place in my heart because I rediscovered my love for superhero films because of this one. Though Marvel has learned and bettered itself after this movie it’s still ranked this high up because here, ladies and gentlemen, is where it all began.
The Jericho missile demonstration at the start of the movie kinda lays everything out. It introduces you to Tony Stark, shows you what he does, what he’s like, and you get a glimpse at a weapon he’ll utilize in his own suit somewhere down the line.
6. Ant-Man (2015)
When I heard Paul Rudd was going to be in an MCU movie I could barely contain my excitement! Plus I watched this on my birthday so it gave me good vibes. Paul was funny and a great addition to the universe. Michael Pena totally stole the show in all the scenes he was in. His recapping of information he obtained was just hilarious, I could watch that scene over and over again. And Michael Douglas as Hank Pym, need I say more? For a movie about a guy who talks to ants as a super power, it gets better every time you watch it.
The shirtless scene ’cause dayum Paul Rudd you lookin’ good. And it gets better when you learn that he wanted to be objectified like every hero deserves because he worked hard to achieve that.
5. Doctor Strange (2016)
Though the newest addition in the family, it was one of the best. And they let Benedict Cumberbatch stand on his own, no cameos until after the credits, which was refreshing. Benny Batch definitely owned this role and made it bad ass. You would think repeating a scene again and again would be dull, but nope, it had me on the edge of my seat wondering how long until Dormammu gives up. My undying love for him and Tilda Swinton reached new heights. And who would’ve thought a cape could be funny? The best solo movie to date.
I’m torn between the scene where the cloak of levitation wraps itself around Strange and protects him during a fight scene and even wipes away his tears after The Ancient One passes away or where Stephen Strange get into a fight with one of Kaecilius’ henchmen in their Astral Forms around The Ancient One’s dying body.
Admin’s note: *Le gasp* I am shocked. Shocked, I tell you! How can you put Doctor Strange so low on your list? I agree with your Number One, but Doctor Strange has to be Number 2! It was the only Marvel movie I ever saw where I didn’t realize the time, and where my first question when the credits rolled was, “Is it over? Why is it over?” I most certainly do not concur with this.
4. The Avengers (2012)
The Avengers made me happy to be alive. The fact that I can watch this movie whenever I like is such a blessing. This movie is my happy place. I watch this when my bipolar disorder or anxiety attacks me because it makes me feel better. The fight scenes where they finally get their shit together and work as a team never fail to excite me. All the characters have their shining moment in this film. It was the first of its kind in recent years, so at the time heroes coming together was still a new idea. In my opinion, it’s the ultimate comic book movie.
Shakespeare at the park is just too funny. And you get to see them butt heads for the first time which is always fun to see.
3. Captain America: The Winter Soldier (2014)
I finally get to talk about my Winter Bean *fangirls inside*. My biggest crush in all the movies is Sebastian Stan, sadly he’s in barely any of them and you can’t even see his whole face for a majority of this one. You do get to see Steve struggle between fighting the “bad guy” or saving his best friend/boyfriend which is really interesting because the Captain has always had a strong sense of right and wrong. But here you can really see him trying to make the difficult decision of what to do next. And he doesn’t know who to trust. Apparently S.H.I.E.L.D. was Hydra all along *gasps*! And Robert Redford, the guy controlling our misunderstood baddie, was a baddie the whole time. He be hailing Hydra on the side. Which was not necessarily unexpected but a good twist nonetheless. So Winter Bean ain’t no bad guy people, just a little prone to mind control.
Steve chasing after The Winter Soldier like a long-lost lover throughout his apartment building. Which leads to The Winter Soldier catching Cap’s shield with his tricked out arm.
2. Avengers: Age Of Ultron (2015)
One of my most watched MCU movies, it shows you the Avengers’ working relationship after the first one and you get introduced to three new heroes, one of which you get attached to only to get disappointed and hurt in the end. You even get to see them hang out, mingle, and party at the beginning. And then shit hits the fan big time. Ultron was programmed to detect threats before they turn into one. Due to the combined brilliance of Bruce Banner and Tony Stark he does his job a little too well, targeting the Avengers themselves. Age Of Ultron isn’t trying to copy the formula of the original Avengers, it doesn’t have to. The story is thought provoking and exciting. They start questioning themselves and Tony’s own suits are used against him. It’s not just a great superhero movie, it’s a great movie in general. And this great movie sets up an even greater movie.
Finding out Hawkeye has a house with a wife and kids totally threw me off in a good way. I mean, seeing the Averngers being all domestic and Natasha having a close relationship with the little ones was really nice to see. And the scene where Steve Rogers breaks that log with his bare hands was just truly arm porn. I need that in my life.
1. Captain America: Civil War (2016)
In one word: AMAZING. You get Tony and Steve dividing up the team like parents divorcing and the kids taking sides, you get Tom Holland as Spider-Man in his cartoon-come-to-life form, you get the Black Panther being all majestic, and you get to see Bucky and Steve reunite. The introduction of Spidey and T’Challa (Admin’s note: Majesticat!) are so perfectly woven into the story and the movie did a great job of making you feel like they belonged among the veterans. This movie made me the most emotional because I felt compelled to choose sides. Tony just wants peace but you can’t blame Steve for trying to defend his friend. This movie was an emotional roller coaster, it made me laugh, cry, and downright broke my heart several times. And these are just the few reasons why I put this as number 1.